Back to hell

Posted: February 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

I’ve gone to hell. Again.  Some people call it dieting, but let’s be honest – it’s hell.

I’m on Weight Watchers (again), but the diet itself is mostly irrelevant; it’s the suffering and calling upon my (nonexistent) willpower that is important.  I’ve done nearly every kind of diet out there – WW, South Beach (worked beautifully until I got to phase 2 where you add in all of those lovely, filling whole grains at which point I was in agony only to later learn that I have gastroparesis which makes digesting those lovely grains take f-o-r-e-v-e-r), Flat-Belly diet, Eat This Not That, etc.  My Dr offered me meds to kickstart things, but I’ve taken them before, and they gave me the freaks – and that was before my anxiety issues.  Weight Watchers is a terrific program that has helped tons (HA!) of people get healthier; my past problems with it were my own fault – did you know you can starve yourself all day then blow your daily points on junk food late at night? Well you can, and, because you’re within points, you will still lose weight that way, but you won’t stick to it for long because your body will eventually want to know just what the actual hell is going on and why it’s only being fed crap and only once a day.

I’m getting older now, though, and the extra weight is going to kill me before I ever get to lay eyes on a grandchild (hoping this is still years away) or celebrate that moment when all of my kids have moved out and I can streak through the house naked at will (yet another reason to lose weight – don’t want my hubby to call the Coast Guard about a beached whale when I do that), so losing weight is a must.  I will also admit that I have a LOT of it to lose – like an entire person’s worth… an adult person.  I am going to try my hardest NOT to game the WW system this time around, but my will-power could fit in a thimble (I’ve quit smoking twice – it all got used up), so we shall see.  Sometimes I wish I still lived under someone else’s authority; when I was forbidden to eat something, well, that was The Law talking, and I had to obey; now I can tell MYSELF not to eat something, but I don’t listen to me very well and end up in an argument over authority. With myself. Yeah; I know.

Anyway. Day two in hell.

Sigh.

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